This weekend is the Javelina Jundred (in case you’re not familiar with it, the “J” in Jundred is silent and pronounced like “H” in Hundred) and I’ve jad a teensy tiny bit of FOMO surrounding it. Of course, that feeling didn’t last long and I jave no regret over not being there and attempting the 100 miler again. Nor, is there any regret for not going for the 100K. Officially.
For much of the first jalf of this year, I actually contemplated returning to Arizona to run Javelina again. Maybe because I was constantly reminded of it practically every single day. Yep. Several times a week I’d see Arizona written somewhere.
A car would park right next to me. There it was. Arizona.
I’d come upon a car at a red light. There it was again. Arizona.
In fact, Arizona was there again, and again, and again.
Of course, one day there was a license plate with JJ in it.
Not to mention that one time I was running and I ran into Jamil on the sidewalk. Jamil Coury is the race director for Javelina, and no his name isn’t pronounced Ham-il. At least I don’t believe it is.
Great! I mean, what gives? It was like Javelina Jundred was haunting me. Oops. I mean jaunting me! Everywhere!!
There were so many signs. So many reminders. I can’t take a photo every single time because it’s gotten too freakin’ ridiculous. It doesn’t let up. I still see Arizona several times a week. It’s either a sign from the Universe, or there are an enormous amount of people from Arizona moving to SoCal. I suppose it could be both.
Now it’s quite possible there have been a plethora of Arizona cars in LA prior to me doing this race and I just never noticed them before, and now I’m more sensitive, or in tune with them because I’m still on that Javelina wavelength.
Or it could be that Javelina Jundred is not over me, and wants me back.
When I finally got jonest with myself about the race, my jeart wasn’t in it this year. I gave so much of myself to it last year that I simply couldn’t get to that place again; that place where I was all-consumed by it. Now that I think about it, the race consumed my life for about a good year and a half. Mentally, I wasn’t there.
Besides it’s not a cheap race either. You got race registration fees, tent fees (if you need a tent and I did), and hotel fees if you plan on staying in one, a day or two before the race, and possibly a day afterwards. That is, if you’re coming from out of town, or in my case, out of state. Not to mention transportation and food. All good stuff. And you know, all worth it. But I didn’t want to make it a financial priority this year.
Plus, I really wanted to step back from this race to process it, and learn from it, and appreciate it for what it was.
I know there are certainly people who can experience a disappointment with a race, and dive headstrong right back into training for it again, or another race. But I couldn’t.
And I’m okay with that. In fact, I’m more than okay with that. I’m happy I didn’t jump right back into training for another 100 miler. I needed this time to step back, and rest, and be lazy, and sleep in, and let the drive come to me naturally from a place of self, and not from a place of ego. In other words, I want it to be for my own internal reasons, and not from a place as if I needed to prove anything.
And I’ve reached the point where I definitely feel like 2018 is the year to go after it again. Maybe it’s the all too familiar feeling of starting to be consumed by it again. But I feel like I’m in a better place mentally with it, which is half the battle. The physical part is obviously going to come with time, hard work, and effort. And I’ll get there.
For now, I’m just going to be cheering on those who are doing it. In fact, I know a couple of people. One of which is my friend Melody who is tackling her first 100K distance there. I know she’s ready for it and I couldn’t be more excited for her! So good luck to Melody and all the runners! And don’t forget to drink the water before you leave the aid station!
Thanks for reading!